I didn’t end up going on Cynthia’s trip with her, to my dismay. But I did end up going to stay with her friend Treena and we had a blast! She gave me lots of treats and cuddles and even let me sleep in her bed with her! (I wasn’t allowed under the covers though…) Treena has lots of different books than Cynthia does and I read them all when she was at work. Mostly physics geek books like what we have at home but she does have lots of cookbooks. Maybe I could become a chef!?! I also picked up a bit of an English accent (she’s from the UK).

So you’re probably wondering who that is in the picture. It’s not me! It’s my long lost cousin, Barley! He’s living in the US Virgin Islands. Cynthia met him when she was on her trip there. I have been emailing him ever since and trying to see if there is a way I can go visit him. How did he get so far away? Well first he ran to Florida, and then he swam from there. That’s probably why he’s so skinny. It’s really hot down there so that’s probably why he doesn’t have much hair either. And he prefers beer to catnip.

Things are getting back to normal here, Cynthia’s back and I’m happily back home now. There are more cats around in the neighborhood now that it’s getting nice outside. I wish I could go outside too! Cynthia won’t let me ?. Anyway, let’s see… how to become a chef…

Now I must get ready, and start packing too. Let’s see…what do I need to bring? Toys to play with: check. Dictionary to read on the airplane: check. Scratching post (I’ll put that in with her bike): check. Catnip: Um, I think I ate it all. The red dot that I like to chase: as soon as I catch it I’ll put that in the suitcase too.

I’m so excited!! I’ve never been on an airplane before! In fact, I don’t even know what an airplane is! I will sit on Cynthia’s lap and look out the window, then I’ll go and visit all the nice people on the plane. This is going to be so much fun!

Well I tried reading the dictionary, and that turned out to be very boring and I kept falling asleep. Then I went looking around for my cat toys and I seem to have lost all of them so I’ve been taking all Cynthia’s pens and leaves from the plants and spreading them all over the house as well. By the way, what’s with all of this white stuff? Sometimes it comes from the sky in big white chunks that I like to jump at when they come close to the window. I thought about trying to get outside to play with them but it’s really cold! Forget that!

I’ve discovered that I love stinky clothes and I’m not ashamed to admit it. There’s nothing like a nice pile of Cynthia’s sweaty smelly workout clothes to have a nap in. The longer they’ve been sitting there the better. Mmmmmm. Awesome!!

I haven’t had a project in awhile since trying to master the coffee maker and it is the new year so I have taken on two new tasks. The first will be to read and memorize the dictionary. While going through the drawers in our kitchen (when Cynthia’s not home, of course!) I noticed that she has a game called scrabble. After reading the rules I noticed that I could probably make an excellent scrabble player! My vocabulary does need some brushing up, however, so after I read the dictionary perhaps Cynthia would consider having a game with me.

The other task is to really learn the art of hypnosis. So far just staring at someone and thinking what they should do isn’t working. I’ve already ordered a few books online using Cynthia’s credit card. I figure I have a month with the books before she realizes that she’s bought them. Now I only have to go to the mailbox and get them. This requires going outside, a fear that I will overcome! I have already started practicing my telepathy…you are getting sleepy….you need to take a nap…..

THE VET!! NOOOOO!!!!!

I had just about the most awful adventure ever the other day. Cynthia came home earlier than her usual time from school. First I thought that it was because she missed me and wanted to give me some treats. She went in the basement and returned with my cat carrier. NOOOO!!!! Before I had time to react she grabbed me and started cramming me in that horrible thing. I tried to do my best spider monkey impression, and she fought back. First she tried to shove me in head first. I put all of my feet up against the edges of the door. Then she did some kind of secret ninja move, managed to grab all of my feet and my head and before I knew it I was in the back of the carrier and the door was slammed shut. She’s just too smart for me. Then I started yowling at the top of my lungs so she would know how unhappy I was and maybe let me out. Not so. Out the door we went. The the unthinkable happened: She dropped me! Unbelievable! Turns out I’m a bit heavy and the handle broke off the carrier, but she shouldn’t have let this happen! How traumatic!

Now I’m back from this horrible experience, and she’s shoving pills down my throat. Ugh. Sometimes I walk away and spit them out but she seems to know when I’m going to do this and I can’t seem to outsmart her. Oh well, it’s a cat’s life. I am getting more treats and more attention from her lately. Maybe she feels bad for taking me to that scary place and will never take me there again. Let’s hope not.

Things have been pretty good around here lately; after decorating the house all pretty, Cynthia made lots and lots of goodies. Some were in the refrigerator, which I have figured out how to pry open. Only when she’s not around, of course!! Some were on top of the kitchen counter and they were in these pesky metal containers that were really hard to open. I sampled some just to be sure that they were safe for everyone else to eat. I had to sample quite a few, of course, and then a few more, to be absolutely sure. And then maybe some more to be positively absolutely sure. Uh oh, now I have a belly ache. Too much chocolate. Uhhhhgggg….

Then I noticed a few days ago Cynthia was putting some clothes and things in a suitcase. Cool! We’re going away on vacation! I put some of my belongings in her suitcase too. Then I crawled inside. There wasn’t much room for me, but I managed to squeeze in just fine. When we were about to leave she dumped me out of the bag!!! What?!?! Why can’t I go to?!!! Who’s going to feed me!?!! HELP!!!

Then one of Cynthia’s friends showed up. Thank goodness!! Her friend Treena has been very very nice to me, giving me lots of catnip and treats. She even let me use her computer to write my blog.

Well, that’s all for now…I wonder when Cynthia’s coming back….and if she’s going to return with some of those goodies…

Hello everyone,

I haven’t written in awhile because I have been asleep under the couch for the past five days. I don’t really remember what happened but I woke up this morning with my head in the empty catnip container. And somebody gave me a haircut.

On emerging from under the couch, I discovered that the house has been transformed. Cynthia has been going around putting up lights and little decorations everywhere. What’s that all about? And there’s a bunch of white stuff on the ground outside. At least I can see the squirrels better. It’s been getting colder, too, and I’ve been sleeping under the covers at night. I just wish Cynthia would start training again soon. More training = more napping.

Well, I’ve pretty much given up on the coffee thing. Since I don’t have any opposable thumbs it is near impossible for me to open the coffee container. Or hold a spoon for that matter. I have been doing a really good job at keeping the kitchen floor clean however, whenever anything good falls on the floor. And keeping Cynthia’s bed warm for whenever she decides to start napping again.

Well, I’m starving since I haven’t eaten anything for 5 days. Oh look, there’s food in my dish! Gotta go!

PS. My name is not Guy. Why does everyone keep calling me Guy? It’s Harley.

HEY EVERYBODY!!!

WOO HOO!! I FEEL SO HAPPY AND EXCITED RIGHT NOW I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN WRITE ANYTHING OR NOT!!!

CYNTHIA WAS GIVING ME SOME OF THIS DRIED PLANT STUFF BUT SHE WAS ONLY GIVING ME BITS AT A TIME AND I WOULD GET ALL SILLY. BUT SHE WAS OUT TODAY AND I LOOKED AROUND AND FOUND THE WHOLE CONTAINER!! AND DIDN’T I GO AND EAT THE WHOLE THING!! BOY O BOY IS THIS EVER FUN!!!

I THINK I CAN FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living the good life!

Now that I’ve been here for a few weeks I’m settling into my new home quite nicely. There’s so many things to do here at my house, like eating, sleeping, watching TV, checking out the neighbors, and sharpening my claws on the carpet. I’ve been trying to do things around the house to help out. Last week I saw Cynthia watering our many plants, so I thought I would take care of the plants too by giving them a little trimming here and there. Some of them are quite delicious! I especially enjoy the tree by the front door, it’s at perfect nibbling height.

I’ve also started to relax in my new environment and my playful side is really coming out. When Cynthia is sleeping sometimes she moves and I can pounce on her feet or attack her hair. For some reason I don’t think she really likes this…..hmmmm. Then there’s the captivating, memorizing little red dot that appears around the living room when Cynthia’s reading a book or watching TV. I love chasing that little red dot around, but I can never seem to catch it. Sometimes it even lands on me!

Speaking of the pesky little dot, there it is! Must…..catch it……

Well today I decided that I was going to help out by making Cynthia her morning coffee. This crazy machine makes lots of noise and usually I get really scared and run under the couch, but today I was very brave and got up on the counter to see if I could figure out how it works. I have it turned on, but I have no idea how to get the coffee to come out. This will require more time hanging out in the kitchen and making observations and notes (as soon as I can figure out how to hold a pencil to make the notes with).

I went in the basement and to my surprise, there was Cynthia on her bicycle! What kind of crazy person would go in their basement and pedal a bicycle that’s not going anywhere? She’s not supposed to be training! She’s supposed to be in her off season and doing things like lying with me on the couch and rubbing my belly! I stared at her and tried my best kitty cat hypnosis: …..you are getting very sleepy…..get off your bike……go upstairs into the kitchen…….notice that my dish is empty……

Oh well, that didn’t work very well. Speaking of getting sleepy, all this typing and trying to make coffee has made me very tired. Nap time.

Hello! My name is Harley, and I am Cynthia’s cat. Actually, she belongs to me, she just doesn’t know that yet.

There I was, sitting in the Aylmer SPCA, living a mundane life in a wire cage. Then one day a few weeks ago Cynthia came in to the room. I was in the bottom cage so she didn’t see me right away. I mewed as loud as I could to get her attention, but since my mew isn’t very loud that didn’t work very well. She was making her way over to my cage so I rolled over on my back to show her my nice white belly and put my paw outside of the cage to say hello. I was sooo excited when she took me and only me out of my cage and picked me up! I purred as loud as I could and gave her a big hug. Then she took me home with her and I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.

I am going to help Cynthia out with her training, by hanging out in the kitchen with her to make sure she gets enough to eat (and maybe give me some treats). I will make sure she gets enough sleep by curling up beside her at night and taking many naps with her. Naps are very important!

Well, this has taken me a long time to write since I don’t have any opposable thumbs, and I’m starting to get hungry. Oh look, Cynthia’s in the kitchen! Gotta go!